Life Other

Happy 3 Year Anniversary: The Work Behind Love

April 23, 2018

Today marks three years of being with my best friend — how time flies! For the past three years, it has been an adventures to say the least and there’s no better feeling than having your own person besides you. For our two-year anniversary, I took you all down memory lane to get a glimpse of our relationship and our trips together. So for our 3-year anniversary post, I wanted to write a joint post with Alex on our thoughts to what makes our relationship work and advice for other couples out there.

Communication

Jenny: I used to be the person who stays bottled up and not say anything when something is bothering me. And I still have this nasty habit right now — it’s a continuing effort to change. But being with Alex has helped me so much in opening up to communicating my feelings and to stop letting all things suffocate me to death. Right from the beginning of our friendship (because we became friends first), he has taught me to how to open up and to be more confrontational on how I feel. And it is SO VERY important to communicate with your partner. Being able to speak up on whats bothering you — regardless of when you actually do it — will help you both in the long run. It’s the best way for you both to understand each other and to continuously improve and build upon your relationship.

Alex: Communication, to me, is definitely one of the most important part of any relationship. I feel above all else, communication will make your bond stronger, as you are able to be at a comfort level where you can express how you feel and your opinions on things. Even if something little is bothering you, sharing it will make you feel better.

Listening

Jenny: On the contrary of communicating with your partner, I think it’s also important to just listen at times. I admit that out of the two of us, I am the chatter-box and sometimes he can’t get a word in. But when he does, I make sure to listen to him and absorb it all! To me, listening means not just simply hearing what they are saying to you but also being able to process that information and to interact. Not going to lie, sometimes it drives me crazy when Alex just zones out in the middle of our conversation. It’s so important to stay engaged in these talks. 

Alex: Listening is complementary to communicating, because it shows that you are invested in your partner’s life. Make a effort to listen to what your partner has to say, ask him/her how her day is doing, or even ask him/her what is bothering them. It will definitely go a long way, and along the process, will help you be a more sympathetic and compassionate person.

Living Together & Space

Jenny: Alex and I have lived together for the past two years and even though it looks easy, sometimes it hasn’t been. My favorite part is coming home to someone every single day and having your best friend there to do everything with you from eating to cuddling on the couch and watching dumb videos. The biggest lesson I had to learn about living together was figuring how to balance responsibilities. We both have work, school and other responsibilities, so when it comes to housework, it has to be divided up. Living with someone means seeing EVERY side of them: the good, the bad and the ugly. So it’s definitely an area of our relationship where we are learning to give and take. And because we live in a studio apartment, space is very limited and we had to learn the ideal amount of space we need. Sometimes we both have our own things to do and sometimes one of us want to spend time together or vice versa. I think figuring out how much space is so important to a healthy relationship. No matter how much Alex and I adore each other, we need our alone times.

Alex: I feel as if this is what most couples/ future couples fear. It is a big commitment for any one I would definitely say. However, I feel like its key to bringing your relationship to the next level. You will have to deal with your partner’s habits and constantly be around them, but it is definitely not a bad thing. Take advantage of this and do things that you usually would not do: try your partner’s hobby, do more group activities (cooking, watching tv, playing games, etc.). However, do not feel pressured to constantly be doing something all the time. One of the most important part for people is keep space, and do not be afraid to have that conversation. Again, communicating is key, and your partner will appreciate that you are being honest with them.

Balance of Time

Jenny: Since we live together, we have the luxury of being able to see each other every day. But because we have such different schedules, we don’t see each other on weekdays and get home late due to classes and work. We are luckier than most couples in that we get to see each other so often, but balancing our time is still important. While I always want to spend time with him, we both have homework, other friends and work so it’s all a juggling act of making sure to fit in alone time with your other. We always make sure to eat dinner together, no matter how busy we are and to try to go to bed together at night.

Alex: Always make an effort to activities together, even if its little. Make sure to eat together, go to bed at a reasonable time together (I’m not the best at this though haha), and in general just being sportful for them. Also, make sure to find hobbies you guys have in common, like going to the gym, its like killing two birds with one stone.

Mutual Support

Jenny: This one should be a no brainer, right? Being in a relationship should mean you get your own personal cheerleader! No matter how impossible a project/dream/goal is for him, I know that I want to make it possible for him. It’s so important to give 110% of support towards your significant other, no matter what it is he/she is doing. Being able to confide in each other and to offer advice or mere company is the best feeling in the world. I think it’s very important not doubt the capabilities of your other and to extend any helping hand he/she needs!

Alex: Support for one another is definitely one of the strongest defining moments and benefits of being in a relationship. Just having someone there constantly that recognizes everything you are doing and can push you to do stuff that you would not think are capable of is invaluable. Make sure to be as good of a support as your partner is to you, because he/she will definitely appreciate it.

Other Advice

Jenny: Three years with someone is a long time..even though it doesn’t seem like it. And there has definitely been kinks in our relationship. One other advice I would give is that you have to have fun with each other. No matter how supportive or how well they listen, if you can’t be yourself and have an amazing time, then is it a good/healthy relationship? Being in a relationship means tapping into our feelings and to not be afraid to convey those feelings. And gestures are also nice; sometimes doing little things for the other person just to remind them you love them or you are thinking of them (like one day Alex got me my favorite muffin just because). Lastly, learning from my parents and as my mom would say. always give more than you take.

Alex: I would say to always remember your roots and why you two first started dating. Often you might feel that things might be more mundane as your relationship goes one, but only you are there to make sure it is special! Being in a relationship is a two-sided road, and requires cooperation and effort from both parts. Realize that you should never take your partner for granted and always be evolving your relationship.

 

A million and one thanks for reading — until my next lil’ thought then!

xx Jen

You Might Also Like

52 Comments

  • Reply Hillory April 23, 2018 at 2:07 pm

    Awe this is so sweet!! Hope you both have a happy anniversary 🙂

    xo

    H

    http://firsttimethings.com/

    • Reply lilthoughtswithjen April 23, 2018 at 2:53 pm

      thank you so much Hillory!
      xx Jen

  • Reply DIdier April 23, 2018 at 4:58 pm

    Aww that’s such a great post! Happy anniversary! I definitely agree about the space part mind you. As much as you love someone, sometimes you just need some personal space.

    -Didier
    http://www.didieryhc.com

    • Reply lilthoughtswithjen April 26, 2018 at 6:33 pm

      thank you so much didier! I totally agree with you–personal space from time to time is what keeps us sane!
      xx jen

  • Reply chloejanesoftoctobernight April 24, 2018 at 8:54 am

    Happy anniversary lovely! These are great tips xx

    Chloe x
    http://www.softoctobernight.com

    • Reply lilthoughtswithjen April 26, 2018 at 6:34 pm

      thank you so much chloe!
      xx Jen

  • Reply Demilade April 24, 2018 at 10:03 am

    Aww happy three year anniversary to you both! The pictures are so cute.Loved reading your advice, lots of practical tips there! xx
    Coco Bella Blog

    • Reply lilthoughtswithjen April 26, 2018 at 6:34 pm

      aw thank you so much girl!
      xx Jen

  • Reply nairgraphies April 24, 2018 at 1:47 pm

    Happy anniversary!

    https://nairgraphies.com/blog/

    • Reply lilthoughtswithjen April 26, 2018 at 6:39 pm

      thank you!
      xx Jen

  • Reply Sonia Aicha April 24, 2018 at 4:48 pm

    so inspiring, you guys look beautiful together !! happy anniversary,
    Sonia
    http://www.soniaaicha.com

    • Reply lilthoughtswithjen April 26, 2018 at 6:39 pm

      thank you so much for reading and your kind words!
      xx Jen

  • Reply lesley-kim April 24, 2018 at 5:48 pm

    what a cute post!! you two are too sweet

    Lesley Kim

    • Reply lilthoughtswithjen April 26, 2018 at 6:34 pm

      aw thank you so much lesley!
      xx Jen

  • Reply Jessica April 24, 2018 at 5:53 pm

    Happy Anniversary! Lovely pictures, and your hair is amazing!

    http://www.jessicabroyles.com

    • Reply lilthoughtswithjen April 26, 2018 at 6:35 pm

      thanks so much jessica!
      xx Jen

  • Reply Maria April 24, 2018 at 9:55 pm

    You two are an adorable couple. Happy Anniversary! xo, M
    http://savvynista.com

    • Reply lilthoughtswithjen April 26, 2018 at 6:35 pm

      thank you so much Maria!
      xx Jen

  • Reply jane April 24, 2018 at 10:18 pm

    Congrats to both of you dear.
    You look so happy!

    Much Love,
    Jane | The Bandwagon Chic

    • Reply lilthoughtswithjen April 26, 2018 at 6:35 pm

      thank you!
      xx Jen

  • Reply awayfromtheblue April 24, 2018 at 11:08 pm

    What a cute post! Happy anniversary! 🙂 It was nice of you to share your advice about what works for you 🙂

    Hope you are having a nice week so far! It’s a good one for me as we have a day off here and I’m planning to relax a little, as much as the kids allow, ha! 🙂

    Away From The Blue Blog

    • Reply lilthoughtswithjen April 26, 2018 at 6:35 pm

      thank you so much for your sweet words! so glad you’re having an amazing week–the weekend is near!
      xx Jen

  • Reply Codrut Turcanu April 25, 2018 at 4:26 am

    Happy anniversary guys! Hope you both reach 100 years! 🙂 Keep us posted with new cool pics…

    • Reply lilthoughtswithjen April 26, 2018 at 6:36 pm

      aw thank you so much!
      xx Jen

  • Reply lovelyamusan April 25, 2018 at 5:09 am

    Happy anniversary darling hope you both had an enjoyable time!

    xoxo
    Lovely
    http://www.mynameislovely.com

    • Reply lilthoughtswithjen April 26, 2018 at 6:36 pm

      thank you lovely! we had an amazing day!
      xx Jen

  • Reply courtneyhardyblog April 25, 2018 at 6:30 am

    Awww happy anniversary!! Ya’ll are like the cutest couple, and I love your advice. All of these things are so important in a relationship.
    http://sugarcoatedbears.blogspot.com/

    • Reply lilthoughtswithjen April 26, 2018 at 6:36 pm

      thank you so much courtney! and thanks for reading!
      xx Jen

  • Reply Kathrine Eldridge April 25, 2018 at 7:17 am

    Happy Anniversary! What a cute couple you guys are.

    https://www.kathrineeldridge.com

    • Reply lilthoughtswithjen April 26, 2018 at 6:36 pm

      thank you so so so much girl!
      xx Jen

  • Reply mydailycouture April 25, 2018 at 12:43 pm

    Thanks for sharing your honest thoughts, it mind opening
    xx grace
    http://www.my-dailycouture.com/

    • Reply lilthoughtswithjen April 26, 2018 at 6:37 pm

      thanks for reading!
      xx jen

  • Reply Holly April 25, 2018 at 1:11 pm

    This was such an adorable and useful post, I love that you both shared your own points of view as that is exactly what being in a couple is about! I wish you both all the happiness for the future!

    Holly from The Art of Being Holly xo

    • Reply lilthoughtswithjen April 26, 2018 at 6:37 pm

      Thank you so much for your sweet words and reading! I wanted to share both of our insights and glad you enjoyed it!
      xx Jen

  • Reply Andreea Bîrsan April 25, 2018 at 1:47 pm

    Happy anniversary! You make such a beautiful couple :). Have a nice day. xx

    Andreea,
    http://couturezilla.com/

    • Reply lilthoughtswithjen April 26, 2018 at 6:37 pm

      thank you so much!
      xx Jen

  • Reply Carmen Jenny April 25, 2018 at 3:59 pm

    Aaw you two are so cute! A good relationship definitely means a lot of work – but it’s definitely all worth it!
    xx, Carmen – https://carmitive.com

    • Reply lilthoughtswithjen April 26, 2018 at 6:38 pm

      thanks so much carmen! you’re always so sweet and 100% agree with you!
      xx Jen

  • Reply thecutielicious April 26, 2018 at 3:42 am

    You look so sweet :))))

    Federica
    http://www.federicadinardo.com

    • Reply lilthoughtswithjen April 26, 2018 at 6:38 pm

      aw thank you!
      x jen

  • Reply Jessica April 26, 2018 at 7:26 am

    This is sooo sweet! You two looks sooo adorable together. Happy Anniversary to the both of you!
    Jessica | notjessfashion.com

    • Reply lilthoughtswithjen April 26, 2018 at 6:38 pm

      thank you so much jessica!
      xx Jen

  • Reply shakirasacks April 26, 2018 at 7:55 am

    What a gorgeous and uplifting post to read, so happy for the both of you!

    SHAKIRA SACKS

    • Reply lilthoughtswithjen April 26, 2018 at 6:38 pm

      thank you so much!
      xx Jen

  • Reply annick April 26, 2018 at 8:04 am

    such a cute post!! happy anniversary to you both 💖

    https://annicklau.com

    • Reply lilthoughtswithjen April 26, 2018 at 6:39 pm

      thank you!
      xx jen

  • Reply Katya April 30, 2018 at 5:30 am

    You both are perfect for one another. It is inspiring to see that out of all troubles in the world, there is a couple as embracing as you two. Happy anniversary.

    StyleSprinter Blog by Katya Bychkova

    • Reply lilthoughtswithjen May 3, 2018 at 7:03 pm

      thank you so much for your sweet words Katya!
      xx jen

  • Reply Isra May 5, 2018 at 5:47 am

    you guys are adorable, you will love looking back at this in the future x

    http://www.whatisrawrote.com

    • Reply lilthoughtswithjen May 13, 2018 at 11:18 pm

      aw thanks so much isra!
      xx Jen

  • Reply Kim May 22, 2018 at 2:15 pm

    Aw how cute! Happy anniversary! Communication is key to everything <3

    Kim | simplylovebirds.com

    • Reply lilthoughtswithjen May 31, 2018 at 8:37 am

      thanks so much love!! and I couldn’t agree more!
      xx Jen

    Leave a Reply

    %d bloggers like this: