Life Other

Overthinking and Dealing With Anxiety

October 22, 2017

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Overthinking. I do it, you do it, everyone does it. For me it has gotten to be so bad sometimes that it hinders me from even going forward. My overthinking ways has definitely contributed to feelings of anxiety and moments of feeling lost. I feel like anxiety has become less of a taboo topic to talk about and it’s something we all more or less deal with. Personally, I think we all have some level of anxiety and just because some people aren’t on medications or seeking professional help for it, doesn’t mean it doesn’t exist. I, for one, have the natural tendency to just overthink everything going on in my life and know I have mild anxiety even though I haven’t been professionally diagnosed. It’s something you just know you deal with, if you get what I mean.

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I thought high school was a breeze. I barely studied, got all A’s and was able to do various activities—life was simple and worry-free. During freshmen year of college, I got by with little studying and lots of traveling throughout Europe and still got a great GPA. Sophomore year hit me like a b*tch. The first real (what I considered to be real since it was for my actual major) exam I had, I studied like I always had and majorly bombed it. I couldn’t believe what I saw and didn’t know how to move forward. It triggered so many feelings of insecurity within me. Moving forward, I began to study every week, stopped making plans and focused solely on school. I started to overthink about my future, grades and every action I was taking. Questioning whether I am taking the right step every single day. It was exhausting.

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There were countless nights that I would finish what I intended to finish for the day, go to bed and lay there for hours wondering what else needs to be done and if I did everything correctly. Times that I feel like the walls are closing on me and I cannot breathe because I am overthinking too much. And times that I would be all dandy and happy studying away while simultaneously start crying because I was afraid of failing. Not just the test, but something much bigger, something I still can’t pinpoint my finger on. While I preach and preach to my younger siblings, friends and on this blog that we need to fail to learn, I still have these unwarranted feelings of fear towards failure, of not doing enough. How do you even quantify what you’re doing as enough?

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Anxiety is such a common issue yet it takes the backseat of everything else we have going on in our lives. Such a crazy concept, right? I am someone who 100% believes in professional help, whether that be in medication or therapy. Though I have tried neither and believe that I am doing alright figuring out solutions to combat my anxiety, I always recommend it to people. I have friends who have gone through all channels of help and think they have emerged as a better person. Regardless of what channel you go, whether that be professional or dealing with it yourself, make sure you are dealing with the issue at hand, stop letting it take the backseat.

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I have gotten better over the past years in dealing with my stress, anxiety and tendency to overthink too much. Though I don’t have much concrete-ness in regards to tips on how to stop stressing or overthinking too much, I do have the time to listen to anyone who needs to talk it out. I wanted to share my anxiety story to let you all know, regardless of your anxiety level, we all deal with the same things as humans. I tell so many of my friends my feelings and my thoughts and they all say they have gone through something similar. We are all worrying about the future in some degree and overthinking if our life is going to turn out the way we wanted it to.

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I’ve been focusing on my own development recently, from the people around me to what I really want. I can honestly say that I am SO happy and thankful towards my family, friends and you guys. I still break out crying randomly at times, but I am a naturally emotional person so that’s how I express my feelings. Most of the time now though, they’re happy tears. I have been learning how to just let go, whether it be a grade, a job, or a friend. It’s certainly not easy and I have no sound advice on how to do it, but I know it is necessary to move past the overthinking. I’ve learned to indulge and to learn how to prop myself up. Learning when to reward myself and when I am being too harsh on myself is something I’ve also been balancing. While this post didn’t offer any steps to removing the overthinking nature out of ourselves (you can read how to tackle stress here), I hope it offers you better insight into the fact that no one’s life is perfect.

Until my next lil’ thought then!

Jen❣️

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